George Burns was the father I never had

My family comes first. Maybe that's what makes me different from other guys.

You're either sexy or you're not. I'm very self-conscious about my physiognomy.

Memories are like moonbeams; we do with them what we want.

I'm more married to Sandy now than when we were married with the legal document. We're still married as parents.

It isn't true that you live only once. You only die once. You live lots of times if you know how.

Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That's the truth. And on that note, I'll say goodnight. God love you.

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

There is nothing wrong with being afraid - but there is nothing more wrong than allowing that to be your master.

I've got a dream lover, so I don't have to dream alone.

I'm a singer who moves like a dancer.

Time is standing still. We are measuring ourselves by how far we are going.

Duntz asked Smith, 'Added up, how much money did you get from the Cutters?' 'Between forty and fifty dollars.

True miracles are created by men when they use the courage and intelligence that God gave them.

Soldiers strike the foe in the face!

Pleasure usually takes the form of me and now; joy is us and always.

Everyday God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy.

We don't have to be defined by the things that we did or didn't do in our past- Four

It doesn't matter! From waist down, my best friend is a donkey.

But after several hours, I go anyway, walking in silent sock feet, so as not to awaken the ghosts.