Food can be mean to me, but I love it anyway.

I think of myself as kind of a hippy. Everyone around me says that's not the impression they get. They think I'm sassy. Apparently, I think I'm nicer than I really am.

People have confused playing devil's advocate with being intelligent.

I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?

Let's give it up for the Secret Service. I don't want to be too hard on those guys. You know, because they're the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot.

What can I say about Brian Williams. Nothing, because I work for NBC.

There's so much more bad information than good information out there - everybody's got something to say and it's usually wrong.

I'm also the first straight woman to host this in 20 years, so, we finally made it, straight people.

You have to put work into relationships to keep them fun.

I like Instagram - I love pictures, I just dont take them very often.

I always feel the most validated and confident being around people that I find funny - having Fred Armisen laugh at a scene or Bill Hader or Seth Meyers give me a compliment.

Being a fool is a billion times better than being blinded by the illusion of intellect.

Obsessing over something that has jarred your world is called coping.

The sky is falling. The sky is falling.And I fear you won’t believe it until you’re covered in stars

You need to take out the stuff that’s just sitting there and doing nothing. No slackers allowed! All meat, no filler!

Those among them that have not received our religion do not fright any from it, and use none ill that goes over to it, so that all the while I was there one man was only punished on this occasion.

If there are finer beings than German short hairs, I don't know what they are. In their eyes is peace.

As a loyal believer in the Auteur Theory I first felt editing was but the logical consequence of the way in which one shoots. But, what I learned is that it is actually another writing.

You have only three real friends: Jesus Christ, Sears Roebuck, and Gene Talmadge.

I'm not violent, I don't believe in killing people, but standing up for yourself, speaking out against injustice, is another form of vengeance.

Tourism is sin, and travel on foot virtue.