Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

I seemed to hear God saying, "Put down your gun and we'll talk.

That's what it's like when people have crawled very high up in a tree, then they sometimes need help to get down with ladders and ropes and other instruments.

Service is an opportunity for young women to really empower themselves.

We will fight with full force and might of the United States military.

Self-pity is the campsite of self-defeat; it is a dark refuge for those parts of us that would rather wallow in what cannot be than dare to explore what is possible.

But high up on the mountain When the wind is hitting it If you're watching very closely The rock slips a little bit.

There are no more new worlds. The unoccupied arable lands of the earth are limited, and will soon be taken.

I will not take 'but' for an answer. Negroes have been looking at democracy's 'but' too long.

Listening is seeking synchronicity with the speaker.

Treating other people as you would like to be treated. It is an ancient, universal ethical imperative. And it requires no supernatural beliefs.