Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.

It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames!” or “Smoke maker!” or “Bad hot!

The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import).

Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?

All good art is political. Between the lines of every book, the author implants messages for the unsuspecting reader. If not, what point does it serve?

Whatever government is not a government of laws, is a despotism, let it be called what it may

Self-confident people are proud of their accomplishments, but can remain humble without bragging.

Because my life isn't going to wait around while I figure out how to make it work.

I made an impulse buy of a house in Maine to make my wife happy and now have gone back into debt and it's all started over for me.

Mercy is the true power that can save humanity and the world from sin and evil.

A man who has nothing in particular to recommend him discusses all sorts of subjects at random as if he knew everything.

When we have found all the mysteries and lost all the meaning, we will be alone, on an empty shore.

Oh, poverty parts good company.

Cease thy counsel, for thy words fall into my ears as priceless as water into a seive.