Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

and I ask myself and you, which of our visions will claim uswhich will we claimhow will we go on livinghow will we touch, what will we knowwhat will we say to each other.

There he was, her confidant—strong, solid, and unbending.

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?

Sometimes you have to look into a mirror and look at the worst you could have been if you're ever going to know the best you were meant to be.

Our problem wasn’t that it blew up and was impossible to scale, but there were some bad choices made. One of the biggest lessons time after time was to focus. Do fewer things.

I basically think that I'm a fairly nice, normal person with just a few eccentricities.

I like the way my heart beats, I like the way I think; I don't need or want anything to change that.

A country needs to be able to feed itself, fuel itself, and fight for itself.

The individual is ephemeral, races and nations come and pass away, but man remains.

Words reproduce themselves pleasurably too.