"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.

A cat is better than you are, more honest, more graceful, smarter for her size, better coordinated, and infinitely more beautiful.

From talk radio to insult radio wasn't really that much of a leap.

To find his own salvation, a man must first find the fool locked inside himself and set it free.

who hasn't slept in an empty bed sometimes, longing for the embrace of another person on the achingly short trip to the grave?

No means everything to a dog, nothing to a cat.

Catch a dog in your favorite chair, and he slinks away abashed. The cat will pretend incomprehension; surely you must know it's her chair?

If God did not intend the cat to live happily with humankind, why is there a meow in the middle of the word 'hoMEOWner'?

One day, when I am a braver man, I will tell her these things, and then I will look her in the eye tell her I love her and ask her to be only mine. But until that day, we're just friends.

I think that when you are a teenager, it's the smartest you will ever be in your life. Teenagers are so resilient and strong, it's just amazing.

In my life, I don't need to have my face plastered everywhere. It's not really something I want.

If wishes were fishes we'd all be throwing nets. If wishes were horses we'd all ride.

I love romantic comedies. I love romantic movies. I'm kind of a sucker for them, and, sort of end up crying at the end of them all, like a child.

People cannot be molded like clay.

Life on earth is like college and we're all just trying to pass the courses.

Whenever other worlds invite us, whenever we are balancing on the boundaries of our limited human condition, that’s where life starts, that’s where you start feeling yourself living.

Nevertheless, when one is ill, one should be submissive to the doctor and obey him.

In New York you can just walk out and be among people. You're on the subway among people, you go to cafes, you can talk to people.