Catch a dog in your favorite chair, and he slinks away abashed. The cat will pretend incomprehension; surely you must know it's her chair?

Guilt didn't put any butter on the bread of life.

A cat is better than you are, more honest, more graceful, smarter for her size, better coordinated, and infinitely more beautiful.

From talk radio to insult radio wasn't really that much of a leap.

To find his own salvation, a man must first find the fool locked inside himself and set it free.

who hasn't slept in an empty bed sometimes, longing for the embrace of another person on the achingly short trip to the grave?

No means everything to a dog, nothing to a cat.

If God did not intend the cat to live happily with humankind, why is there a meow in the middle of the word 'hoMEOWner'?

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The gift of time is the grace of today.

Either I've always spoken to her from the heart in times like this, or I never have and I don't know what it means.

Men were notorious for their acts of disloyalty.

The most powerful element in advertising is the truth.

I love the romcom. I thought I had a career playing the best friend. What happened to that? It's really sad to me.

We have no more fundamental obligation in government than to ensure the safety of our citizens.

You know, I think I was always intrigued by theater since I was a small child.

We just sat there and watched the plane pass the island, and it never came back," he said. "I could see it on the radar. It makes you feel terrible. Life was cheap in war.

A piece of paper or a photograph is as much an object, or as 'material' as a ton of lead.

If you light upon an impertinent talker, that sticks to you like a bur, to the disappointment of your important occasions, deal freely with him, break off the discourse, and pursue your business.