Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

Never Take Life For Granted.

I think about giving up. I almost do.

... when confronted with unusual life situations... A warrior acts as if nothing had ever happened, because he doesn't believe in anything, yet he accepts everything at its face value.

Kindle the taper like the steadfast star Ablaze on evening's forehead o'er the earth, And add each night a lustre till afar An eightfold splendor shine above thy hearth.

Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I always go all-out with my costumes.

Procrastination makes easy things hard, hard things harder.

For me, fiction's great gift - to writer and reader, alike - is freedom.

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

He passes through life most securely who has least reason to reproach himself with complaisance toward his enemies.

We want work and we want honest jobs. Our minds and our hands will be our keep!