Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

I don't like lollipops.

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.

Life’s too short to do anything but enjoy it daily.

Everyone is extremely hard and troubled to be around. Everyone has something substantially wrong with them. Everyone is extremely hard to live with.

Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.

Corn is cleaned with wind, and the Soul with chastening

Run my dear, From anything That may not strengthen Your precious budding wings.

I mean how do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't. I think I am, but how do I know? I swear it's a stupid question.

I actually wanted to be a producer because I like to run things.

Because I was born a slave, I love liberty more than you.

Every moment has a momentous gift for you.

Lisa Lampanelli lost 100 pounds, but that's because she was poached for ivory.