E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Amelia Earhart, who said, Stop looking for me; see if you can find my luggage! Never got a dinner!

Aladdin, who said to his wife, I know it's not a lamp, keep rubbing! Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

King Solomon, who said to his thousand wives, Who doesn't have a headache tonight? Never got a dinner!

Orville Wright said to his brother, "Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?"

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

All words are written in the same ink, 'flower' and 'power, ' say, are much the same, and though I might write 'blood, blood, blood'all over the page, the paper would not be stainednow would I bleed.

Yeh don’ have ter be ashamed of what yeh are.

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in the experience.

Never start a war with something you can't talk to.

I'm really not good blackmail material.

I make films as a business, not as a cultural endeavor.

The history of mankind is a history of war.

It's okay not to know everything; that would have calmed me down.