Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

In the glad old days, before the rise of modern morbidities...it used to be thought a disadvantage to be misunderstood.

What is the good of telling a community that it has every liberty except the liberty to make laws? The liberty to make laws is what constitutes a free people.

We may fight for the cause of international peace because we are very fond of fighting.

Good taste, the last and vilest of human superstitions, has succeeded in silencing us where all the rest has failed.

When Nietszche says, "A new commandment I give to you, be hard" he is really saying, "A new commandment I give to you, be dead." Sensibility is the definition oflife.

I do not know by what extraordinary mental accident modern writers so constantly connect the idea of progress with the idea of independent thinking.

Until we realize that things might not be we cannot realize that things are.

There is nothing which is so weak for working purposes as the enormous importance attached to immediate victory.

I am deeply in love with the world and its contents. My heartaches when I see any suffering so kindness and altruism is my ultimate way of life.

Experiences were what you got when you couldn’t get what you wanted.

I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.

What scientist would not long to go on living, if only to see how the little truths he has brought to light will grow up?

Dialing down is not an option for me.

Hoarding one's hurts hurts only the hoarder.

Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.

Passion should always trump common sense.

I'm from Oklahoma. I mean, you can't have good hair in Oklahoma. That's why everyone wears hats. The wind just messes it up.

Life had its way of beating humbleness into a man.