Don't tell 'em - SHOW 'em!

Ladies and gentlemen, my mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you!

Ev'ry heart beats true 'neath the Red, White and Blue

I don't care what you say about me, as long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name right.

Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.

As a composer I could never find use for over 4 or 5 notes in any musical number, and as a playwright most of my plays have two acts because i couldn't think of an idea for the third act.

I can write better plays than any living danced, and dance better than any living playwright.

Whatever you do kid, always serve it with a little dressing.

I don't care what they call me as long as they mention my name.

Hurried and worried until we're buried and there's no curtain call Life's a very funny proposition after all.

Providence is wiser than you, and you may be confident it has suited all things better to your eternal good than you could do had you been left to your own option.

no matter how little it might seem, if you are doing it for the Lord and you are doing it with a pure heart, it is not a waste of time

Why do you chase the wind?

Okay, I'm flattered, I appreciate your attempt at making me feel better after the fiasco with the pita rolls, but please ring up this beer I need it more than flattery.

I was heading to Nebraska. Now there's a sentence you don't want to say too often if you can possibly help it.

I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf.

I go to the movies whenever I get the chance, because the movie theater is like the woods. It's another place that's like a time machine.

You just can't help topping your own levels of crazy,can you?

I talk about very serious human affairs but with a lightness of heart.

If we're able to identify our own ignorance, we can identify someone else's expertise. We learn how to listen to each other. And that is the foundation of human understanding.