Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Hindsight is a glorious thing. Too bad it never helps anyone.

I'm in love with beauty and things and people and love and being in love, and those things, I think, on the inside, show on the outside.

Hard to guess what people see in each other, fortunately for the continued existence of the human race.

You cannot tell an audience a lie. They know it before you do; before it's out of your mouth, they know it's a lie.

The 'almighty dollar' is the true divinity, and its worship is universal.

I'm more enthusiastic and excited about work than ever. I know now what I'm about.

If you're looking where everybody else is looking, you're looking in the wrong spot.

I think your heart needs to be broken, and broken open, at least once to have a heart at all or to have a heart for others.

By itself, 1 Corinthians 15 just wouldn't mean much. He wants the appearances of 1 Corinthians 15:3-11 to be read as if they had in parentheses after them 'See Luke 24; Matthew 28; John 21.'

Love moderately; long love doth so; too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.