Dear sirs, The cold war isn’t over. When national borders fail, the epidermis is the last line of defense. We are counting on you.Sincerely, Patriot

Don’t believe what you hear about those penguins. A species of lazy waddlers. Their extinction is immanent.

If the law can be broken it will. Anyone who breaks the law is a risk. You can break the law. So you see, I have to take you in for questioning. This produce stand has an ominous future.

Especially well known around the office is my weakness for dyspareunist women. Most people would find such disparity in unity repelling, but it harmonizes perfectly with my personal tastes.

The x-ray of your skull shows a large, flobby mass floating inside. I have to consult my colleagues to be certain, but it looks like a long sausage snarled into a lump.

It is not what you know that determines the quality of your life

My ideal travel companions are my surfboard, wetsuit, and guitar.

I've got the long hair and kind of androgynous look. It's love-hate; it's sexy, but not sexy. So it's either you get it or you don't.

I would be so exhausted by my determination that I had no strength left to do the actual work.

The beginnings of a forest is one of the ugliest things on the planet. It's bleak and your neighbours hate you.

The easiest way to convince my kids that they don't really need something is to get it for them.

Flow occurs in your life when your highest skills are matched to challenges that quite exactly meet them.

Don't get fancy. Have you cooked an apple pie? You don't know what you did wrong? Do this: Take two or three apples. Put them on a table. Study them.

I am from the planet of elegance.