Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first.

I don't like lollipops.

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

If time be judiciously employed, there is time for everything.

Great, numbskull. Just bloody great. You've already managed to piss off the Queen. What's next on your agenda, setting fire to Disneyland?

When I was born I did lament and cry And now each day doth shew the reason why.

Imagination is not to be divorced from the facts. It is a way of illuminating the facts.

Spake full well, in language quaint and olden, One who dwelleth by the castled Rhine, When he called the flowers, so blue and golden, Stars, that in earth's firmament do shine.

Are you accusing me of reading? ~ Ridley

The important thing is that ever since I realized all the wrongs that I had done, I have been trying to correct them for the past 27 years.

Mistakes were mistakes, and failures were failures. Why torment someone with the memories of their past?

This is not just about women. We men need to recognize the part we play, too. Real men treat women with the dignity and respect they deserve.

Even virtue is fairer when it appears in a beautiful person.