Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?

Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!

My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.

A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.

Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

Samuel FB Morse's SECOND question over the telegraph was, "Have you any news?

But only in mad people fear goes on constant night and day, wearing one ditch in the mind that all thoughts must travel in.

Research shows that parents are the single biggest influence on children - if you are worried about your teen and drugs, talk to them.

Nonsense, seems to sum up everything.

Illegal immigrants are already a very big problem for us. We are already taking big steps to disallow illegal immigrants from coming in.

You think you have a memory; but it has you!

Dad, because you are my father it's been easy to believe in God.

Perfection is boring. If a face doesn't have mistakes, it's nothing.

Maps are a way of organizing wonder.

The film business is absurd. Stars don't last very long. It's much more interesting to be a proper actor.