Cheap liquor is a magic potion that can turn you into a puppet cowboy before it kills you.

The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a much better guide than a 'More Like This' link on the internet.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

I want to experience as many different tastes, sights, emotions, conflicts, and cultures as possible, so that I can expand the canvas of my memory and enrich my comedy.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

You have to be ruthless with yourself, in terms of being honest about what is working and what is not.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.

I hate all sidekicks.

I identify myself as a stand-up first. Even though lately there's been an explosion of acting on my schedule.

The longer one lives, the more mysterious life seems.

Remember Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did but she did it backwards and in high heels.

Truth is something you stumble into when you think you're going some place else.

All history is just one man trying to take something away from another man, and usually it doesn't really belong to either of them.

Maybe the idea of me is more powerful than I perceive myself being.

Fear and worry are emotions that cloud the mind from being able to think clearly, to remember what the procedures are to deal with that emergency.

All truth is profound.

No one who has understood even a fraction of what science has told us about the universe can fail to be in awe of both the cosmos and of science.

I am really puzzled to understand myself.

There is a big difference between being good and being great.