But the biggest fake of the year, Paul Begala's last smile

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

When young, the words are scattered all around us. As they are assembled by experience, sentence by sentence, until the story takes shape...

While your character flaws may have created mild problems for other people, they will create major problems for your spouse and your marriage.

I think... the most brilliant thing about being a writer is that if you don't like the way the world is, you can create your own.

The artists of the past who impressed me were the ones who really focused their work.

My dream is to be played everywhere, not only at the Opera.

Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.

I've been around so long and no matter if I've done good things or bad things, or my personal life has been good or bad, the fans have always stuck with me.

Teenagers are people too!

Valor consists in the power of self recovery.

Some of the speakers we bring on campus may not reflect official church teaching, but that's how it is.