Atticus "What's this religion going to be called?" Oberon "Poochism" A:"and the name of this holy writ I will be typing for you?" O:"The dead flea scrolls: A Sirius Prophecy.

Monty Python is like catnip for nerds. Once you get them started quoting it, they are constitutionally incapable of feeling depressed.

Silly dark elves. Earth is for Druids.

They never predict anything fun," Granuaile answered. "Just once I'd like to hear a prophet tell someone, 'Thou shalt win a bitchin' Camaro on a game show.

Now go and stake some vamps. Especially the sparkly emo ones.

When in doubt, blame the dark elves.

He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow. Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.

People used to say obvious things ironically or as a form of understatement, but in the last few decades they seem to say it with a sense of discovery, and it worries me.

Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.

I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital

She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan Fillion.

You will find the lies in the light and truth in the dark

We should use our imagination more than our memory.

The older I get, the less I know. It's wonderful--it makes the world so spacious.

I don't think people know what hygienist means.

The good teams are good at what they do.

Fiscally, I'm very conservative. I don't believe in welfare states. I believe in giving people jobs.

The present is always invisible because its environmental. No environment is perceptible, simply because it saturates the whole field of attention.

I think I would spend the first 30 weeks not writing, just clearing my head and seeing parts of the world I haven't seen and going back to places I have seen and love.

Truth is the most unbending and uncompliable, the most necessary, firm, immutable, and adamantine thing in the world.

I can tell we’re going to get along like Batman and the Joker. (Fang) Just remember one thing, world. I’m the best friend you’ll ever have or the last enemy you’ll ever make. (Thorn)