As I was saying to the landlord only this morning: 'You can't have everything'.

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

The word of God warns us of every scheme of wickedness.

You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!

Truth is the safest lie.

We should behave to our friends as we would wish our friends behave to us

What do you do with what you're given, and how do you transform it into something worthwhile?

History - that little sewer where man loves to wallow.

Answering a letter from a church asking what else they should try after having failed to raise enough money on bake sales, bazaars, suppers, etc. Why not try religion?

Of course, clothing fashions have always been impractical, except in Tahiti.

La solitude re tablit aussi bien les harmonies du corps que celles de l'a" me. Solitude restores the harmonies of the body no less than those of the soul.

When you undervalue who you are, the world will undervalue what you do and vice versa.