And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I'm laughing or smiling.

I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend, now he is doing life for it.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.

I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.

I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.

They call it 'surfing' the net. It's not surfing. It's typing in your bedroom

Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.

Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.

The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.

Who ne'er knew joy but friendship might divide,Or gave his father grief but when he died.

Financial crises are an unfortunate but necessary consequence of modern capitalism.

A guitar is just theoretically built wrong. Each string is an interval of fourths, and then the B string is off. Theoretically, that's not right, all the strings should be off.

As I thought about that, I had to wonder: What will we know better about tomorrow? Who cares? Hindsight is useless.

Thus the right of nullification meant by Mr. Jefferson is the natural right, which all admit to be a remedy against insupportable oppression.

We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.

I exercise three to four times a week, doing the Tracy Anderson Method, which involves toning and strengthening our small muscle groups.

My life is immeasurably enriched by taking personal responsibility to do what I can, with what I have, where I am.

I guess I'm an athlete now. I gotta start going to the gym.

Money spent on good-quality gear is always money well spent