After September 11th, freedom of speech in America has become a topic that's touchier than a Vatican summer camp.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Tingling fingers, morning birds, rain splatters on window pane, journals of fading escapades and laughter...

With my sport, I am outside and in the water, which can be really drying and damaging to the skin, so I try to be vigilant about taking good care of it.

Your tail, is becoming too heavy to wag.

The human spirit is resilient and truth - no matter how long you abuse it and how long you try to crush it - will, as Dr. King would say, rise up again, and in the final analysis will prevail.

I get hated a lot. That’s ok.

England is so defined, the class system, your education. I think what was unique about the Canterbury scene.

It's improper to use the egg roll for political purposes.

A man who will risk nothing for love is not a man

When you're in a position to have gotten so much, the gift at this point is giving back.

All loves are a bridge to Divine love. Yet, those who have not had a taste of it do not know!