A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.

Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it.

Growth occurs unabated free of obstacles.

Many things have been compared to a brick, mainly as a tribute to their intellect or to their aerodynamic characteristics.

We (the FBI) are a fact-gathering organization only. We don't clear anybody. We don't condemn anybody.

I go where I'm invited. And all I can tell you is if we accepted every invitation we had, I'd be away every day of my life.

Traditionally, photography is supposed to capture an event that has passed; but that is not what I'm looking for. Photography brings the past into the present when you look at it...

I have to accept my role. I will never kill myself like Vincent Van Gogh. Nor will I paint beautiful water lilies like Monet. I can't do that. I'm in the idiot role of being a kiddie book person.

I love a Hebrew National hot dog with an ice-cold Corona - no lime. If the phone rings, I won't answer until I'm done.

I don't want to get hung up on what 'people,' that nebulous mass, think about me. That's the way to unhappiness, I think.

Man has always needed to believe in some form of a continuity of achievement.