A man who has his initials on his pyjamas must be uncertain of himself. Surely you should know who you are at bed time.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

Let it all go and enjoy the profound gifts found in your quiet places.

You can never be happily married to the one you are not happily in-a-relationship with.

EQUAL RIGHTS and FREE DISCUSSION will be fearlessly advocated and maintained. Sectarian dogmas or tenets will be investigated and compared.

Delicious tears! The heart's own dew.

It has been said that work is the highest form of play.

Being in front of all these people staring at you and it helps you to dig down and become more emotional and get lost in it as you're feeding on people's energy.

My one light American Spirit that I smoke once a week, on Saturday night.

One judge is coughing his life out into bloody handkerchiefs and the other is burying his wife, and you think this is how God answers your prayers?

I never lost a friend I wanted to keep.

Nor law, nor duty bade me fight, Nor public men, nor cheering crowds, A lonely impulse of delight Drove to this tumult in the clouds.