To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

Show me the man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore.

Success is simple, but isn't easy because it demands execution, not intentions.

Every time you try to block a thought out of your mind, you drive it deeper into your memory. By resisting it, you actually reinforce it.

Maybe I might be repeating the same mistake again... But don't you think it is far better to regret what I have done than what I have not done yet...?

Perhaps to bring good into the world, she needed to mix a little evil in it first.

There are no greater treasures than the highest human qualities such as compassion, courage and hope. Not even tragic accident or disaster can destroy such treasures of the heart.

I think everybody should have the same anger towards the injustice that's happening and the hatred that's happening, and just fight it with love and compassion.

That the sweetly intoxicating three-four rhythm which took hold of hand & foot, necessarily eclipsed great & serious music & made the audience unfit for any intellectual effort goes without saying.

Never reveal your insecurities to a man, because nine times out of 10 they have no idea they even exist.

It is better to write of laughter than of tears, for laughter is the property of man.

Experience doesn't necessarily teach anything.