A lot of the lads have a bat for the nets, a bat for facing the bowling machine and a separate bat for the match. I'll just crack on with a bat until it breaks - then crack on with another one.

I'm ugly, I'm overweight, but I'm happy

That means I can drive a flock of sheep through the town centre, drink for free in no less than 64 pubs and get a lift home with the police when I become inebriated. What more could you want?

Captaincy is something you get better at through experience. You've got to trust your instincts.

I'm not too good with packing. I always have every intention of doing it the week before and then leave it until the last moment - but at least I do it myself, I don't leave it to the missus.

It's far more daunting than bowling to Ricky Ponting or facing Shane Warne

There are times when I have felt the pressure, but at the moment I play cricket the only way I can.

When I have a day off, I will have a day off.

We have to take care of our own game. There's only one place we've got to stick up for ourselves and that's the pitch.

I'm not really someone who looks forward to the gym. But I realise it's something that I have to do to perform well on the pitch.

I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to facing Brett Lee again. He bowls at 95mph so enjoyment is not the word I would use.

I wanted color. I wanted to soar with happiness even if it meant dealing with the weight of fear and guilt, too. I wanted to live.

If you’re looking for family entertainment, don’t study history or prehistory.

But I wondered if all this kissing was a bad habit with him and me. The thing we did with our mouths instead of talking.

The wind blowing through my ripped clothes was so cold that I felt like a Percysicle.

I do admire [Willie] Wonka. He's a true capitalist. His factory has zero government regulations, slave labor and an indoor boat. Wonderful.

I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to make a living on the road, but I don't think you can rise much above that.

God sent me to piss the world off!

Scars are but evidence of life and wounds we choose to allow the healing of. We may not make the same mistakes again.

For as good habits of the people require good laws to support them, so laws, to be observed, need good habits on the part of the people.

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.