A golfer needs a loving wife to whom he can describe the day's play through the long evening.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Failure could bring the best opportunity to start the most wonderful life.

Next time, we go slowly. I want to explore every delicious inch of you.

Women have demanded and gotten better jobs and more power. But the one thing we deserve is a better relationship with ourselves.

The wheel of fortune turns round incessantly, and who can say to himself, I shall today be uppermost.

Nothing beats a little cash in a bear market, of course, and the oldest form of cash is gold.

I intend to remember ... even the sun shines above the storm.

If it ought to be done, then apply yourself to it strenuously

When the history of our times is written, will we be remembered as the generation that turned our backs in a moment of global crisis or will it be recorded that we did the right thing?

God is the source of all creativity. You can be creative only when you are EN RAPPORT with God.

Football is the most successful cult, in terms of members and profits, in human history. Oh wait, there's also religion.