Humor Quotes
I think sometimes people think cheerful is a synonym for dumb, so no one is ever cheerful.
Although it is pleasant to think about poison at any season, there is something special about Christmas, and I found myself grinning.
Wasn't growing catnip in one's yard the kitty equivalent of giving candy to children?
I was just struggling with my inner vachette and pondering the depths of my own inhumanity.
Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!
I said the first thing that came into my head unfortunately. "Save the drama for your mama " I told her just like an eleven-year-old.
Someday, my young friend, you'll find out that girls are actually people too. Just like you and me.
They mean hot like 'I'm too good for you I got my own money don't be frontin' me.' You're more like 'Be my boyfriend I'll make you cookies come meet my dad ' know what I mean
Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful. makes about as much sense as anything ever does with girls
From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong?
You know where we got stuck? We were looking for faithfull, loving and perfect relationships-males who were always glad to see us." "So?" "We already have that!" "What do you mean?" "We've got dogs!
Scream at the mangled leather carcass lying at the foot of the stairs, and my parents would roar with laughter. "That's what you get for leaving your wallet on the kitchen table.
Bricks are independent but can work well with other, tough to crack, fiercely loyal and put in the right spot will hold anything and everything that you’ve ever held dear with the greatest of ease.
If a tree falls in the forest and kills your ex-wife, what do you do with the lumber?
Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.
All three combined is...a different kind of stupid formerly unheard of by humankind.
What do you mean?” Leslie’s voice was cool, as if she questioned witches who were flat on their backs being threatened by werewolves every day.
If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father.
I wonder how Admat can be everywhere. Is he in my sandal? Or is he my sandal itself? Why would a god bother to be a sandal? Does he wear shoes or sandals himself, invisible ones?
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less!
Sure.” Olivia smirked. “Good ol’ New York Public Library. I’m sure it’s up to date on the latest Demons that escape through well-guarded Demon Gates.
Why was the judgement of the disapproving so valuable? Who said that their good opinions tended to be any more rational than those of generally pleasant people?
Leo grabbed the neasrest thing he could find- a Porta-Potty seat- and threw it at the face. Leve me alone!
Kids are baby goats. They're cute and they have redeeming social value. You are definitely not kids.
Why can't I just Google it like everything else?! I hate you public library system!
There's something about sports. You can be setting fire to cats and burying them in your backyard, but as long as you're playing team sports, people think you're okay.
Tyson was still staring at Chiron in amazement. He whimpered like he wanted to pat Chiron's flank but was afraid to come closer. "Pony?
hermes has threatened me with slow mail. lousy Internet service and a horrible stock market if i publish this story. I hope he is just bluffing.
You'd think getting chopped into a million pieces and cast into the darkest part of the Underworld would give him a subtle clue that nobody wanted him around.
Here was a flower (the daisy reflected) strangely like itself and yet utterly unlike itself too. Such a paradox has often been the basis for the most impassioned love.
Instead of putting flowers in books to flatten them you can use a brick.
