Humor Quotes

The righteous one has no sense of humor.

Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind.

I laugh almost everyday. I have a good sense of humor, so I'm always finding something funny.

Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.

Fortune and humor govern the world.

Good-humor makes all things tolerable

A general truth is to have a good sense of humor. Roll with the punches of life's ups and downs. Laughing at yourself always helps.

Good-humor is always a success.

I've had a very laughable career and what has seen me through is my sense of humor.

Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself.

Salt is like good-humor, and nearly every thing is better for a pinch of it.

I think a sense of humor is the emotional equivalent of a sense of realism. One should not take everything seriously, and everybody takes some things seriously.

People will admit to arson and mayhem sooner than no sense of humor.

Good -humor is goodness and wisdom combined.

Above all things, and at all times, practice yourself in good humor.

It's not the tales of Stephen King that I've read, I need protection from the things in my head . . .

The most incomprehensible thing in the world to a man, is a woman who rejects his offer of marriage!

Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.

The play was a great success, but audience was a dismal failure.

[In the Universe it may be that] Primitive life is very common and intelligent life is fairly rare. Some would say it has yet to occur on Earth.

I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids.

A cavalryman's horse should be smarter than he is. But the horse must never be alowed to know this.

Humor is tragedy plus time.

Women talk when they want to. Or don't.

He kills her in her own humor.

Who in their right mind counts the tiles on the floor when they go visiting a neighbor?

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

I am an artist you know ... it is my right to be odd.

The spells are made up. I have met people who assure me, very seriously, that they are trying to do them, and I can assure them, just as seriously, that they don’t work.

You know, I preferred you as an evil monk. Would have made killing you a whole lot easier.

City people. They may know how to street fight but they don't know how to wade through manure.

A bird in the hand was worth two in the bush, he told her, to which she retorted that a proverb was the last refuge of the mentally destitute.

I have been to the speed of God, sir...and I discommend it.

Humans had spent thousands of years climbing out of caves and building technology so they could reach the moon and live in caves again.

it never really occurred to her that literary men, if they like women at all, do not want literary women but girls.

The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?

We are not born with a need for knowledge, but a hunger for it. Eve bit the apple and it has been gluttony ever since.

I should never make anything of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient imagination

Please go to this pizzeria. Order the margherita pizza with double mozzarella. If you do not eat this pizza when you are in Naples, please lie to me and tell me that you did.

Does it not occur to people that I might be artificial by nature?

It is perhaps beside the point to remark that bowling alleys and supermarkets have nursery facilities, while schools and colleges and scientific laboratories and government offices do not.

Maybe part of find what you wanted was recognizing what you didn't want. Maybe there was hope for me yet.

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

You know, people always talk about how Jesus came down to Earth as a human being. He became a human being, But no one ever takes into account what that means.

Because words have deep meaning, Tweets have power.

But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.

How can it be, after all this concentrated effort and separation, how can it be that I still resemble, so very closely, my own detestable mother?

On Wednesday, when the sky is blue, and I have nothing else to do, I sometimes wonder if it's true That who is what and what is who." - Winnie-the-Pooh

It’s not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy.

The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets. He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.