Humor Quotes
I had a dream about you. We were married and I walked into the room to see you in my new black dress and high heels and I said "That's not what I meant when I said I bought them for you".
I had a dream about you last night. In this dream we were walking down the beautiful Japanese streets of Florida. Fukuoka is nice in the summer.
I had a dream about you last night, you were the same piece of S**t I know and hate in real life.
But it's the science of the stars!""She thinks it's Satanic. You gave her daughter a pentagram.""It's a natal chart, duh. You can't let ignorance trump science here, Miss Mary!
A crazy old lady, leading a band of teenagers against an angry supernatural Entity - who’da thought?
The werewolf pointed at a bench next to the door into the Kirkwoods’ tomb. “Sit. Wait.”Did I mention werewolves were chatty?
You know, ” he said, “P.S.S. Piss Camp.” “Yeah, I get it, ” I said, “It’s just not funny.
Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily."No.""Elvis?""I told you, it's supernatural.
Let’s just say, there’s not much of a moon out tonight, ” Nose continued anyway, “but if Yale joined us, there would be.
The room continued to spin though she was standing still, but her ears were hot. She felt like she'd just slammed three doubles of tequila and needed a fistfight chaser.
There was something about Mikie that made me want to trust him. It might have been the Centanario Anejo.
Durbin's sunglasses were gone, and his gray eyes sparkled up at her. He winked. "Take care of yourself, Dr. Venkman."Lena bit back a grin. "You too, Dana Barrett.
So I flirt with disaster once or twice. Who doesn’t?”He snorted. “You don’t just flirt with disaster, you have intercourse with it.
Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows
Blood is thicker than water, and so is diarrhea
I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
And all those things you listed right now, they’rethings Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don’t want me. You want me andGarrett.
someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rantsand her calming presence and—hello, irony.
I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it
His eyes are a hazy swirl ofgray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm
They say opposites attract. Nobody ever said opposites live happily ever after.
You know what they say, ' Suz had texted. 'Once you go geek, you never go back.
Your problem is a serious lack of imagination. You can’t imagine being different than you are.
I don't know. I don't understand how boys think. If I knew that I'd be a millionare.
The dining hall in our section of campus was like something out of an Ayn Rand novel: big, utilitarian, and impersonal.
This is a lovely party, " said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here.
He’s lost it. Our son is insane. Or on drugs. Or maybe not on enough drugs.
Loving someone is very different from the heady feeling of being "in love, " which is, frankly, just temporary insanity.
Just because I'm insane doesn't mean I have to act all crazy.
I know all about insanity. It's not that bad once you beat up everyone who teases you about it.
Treat life as a suicide mission, take on the impossible jobs and attack with the gusto of someone who has nothing to lose.... and when you revel in victory, make like it's a dirty win
I don’t care what other people think about me. Most people are idiots, and they can think whatever they want.
Laughter is the stubborn reward of grim times.
Everyone knows how people who laugh easily create us by their laughter, --making us think of funnier and funnier things.
if you can’t make a joke at a time like this, what’s the point of living?
She laughed - a bit louder than I could have wished in my frail state of health, but then she is always a woman who tends to bring plaster falling from the ceiling when amused.