Humor Quotes
God, don't laugh!" Jamie said, alarmed. "I didna mean to make ye laugh! Christ, Jenny will kill me if ye cough up a lung and die out here!
If you can't laugh at yourself, don't worry others will…!
It had been an embarrassing moment, like the one you get when you realize for the first time that you have what it takes to become an accountant.
People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.
Joy, humor, and laughter should be part of everyone's spiritual life. They are gifts from God and help us enjoy creation.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and I agree. Plus, it’s free, has no bad side effects and is available to EVERYONE.
The poacher's murderer was a man after Archer's own heart, for Archer also didn't like men to hurt Fire or make her acquaintance.
Now, now.” I placed a hand on his back. “Jealousy colors you black, Geoff. If you wanted to be a pretty princess too, I would have bought you a crown. I’ll be back soon.
Is that an invitation?”“I suppose it is.”“Good.” Cade’s voice dropped lower, adding one last thing before hanging up. “And tell your friend in the striped shirt that he’s in my seat.
I can see that an insufficent, or perhaps even defective, socialization process has led you to believe that four-letter words add power to languauge
Lebanon is the only country where media kills more than bombs, injures more than guns...and at last they say freedom of speech...
He was stupid. If I killed everyone who was stupid, I wouldn't have time to sleep.
Actually, I was prone to random acts of stupidity. I considered it to be one of my talents.
Listen, last time I talked to you three, you were all two oars short of having any oars, so I don't want to hear it.
Men are pigs, darling. I really have every sympathy for women that they actually have to choose one of these arrogant, stupid morons to settle down with and marry.
Woman! Come out! I have—" She looked down at the bloodless grass, embarrassed. "I have come to rescue you, " she finally said, as if admitting that she were covered in boils.
And people think she killed him?" said Miss Tick. She sighed. "They probably think she cooked him in the oven, or somet
The English, by and large, being a crass and indolent race, were not as keen on burning women as other countries in Europe.
Even the pious Scots, locked throughout history in a long-drawn-out battle with their arch-enemies the Scots, managed a few burnings to while away the long winter evenings.
We ain’t going to curse anyone, ” said Granny firmly. “It hardly ever works if they don’t know you’ve done it.
We got the spell exactly right. Except for the ingredients. And most of the poetry. And it probably wasn’t the right time. And Gytha took most of it home for the cat, which couldn’t of been proper.
At last the magic caught, and she managed to vault clumsily onto it before it trundled into the night sky as gracefully as a duck with one wing missing.
Gossiping's part of witchcraft, ' said Tiffany. 'They're checking to see if they've gone batty yet.
This was one of those times that a pint just wouldn't cut it.
I spent most of my life believing there would never be a Prince Charming out there for me. Kissing toads can have that effect on a girl.
I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!
The moon was wide—too wide and too close. Mentally, Simon told the moon to stop being so close and bright and that it should just generally shut up with the mooniness.
Wisdom of the Ages: Do the aliens on the moon pull down their pants and 'earth' their friends for fun?
As my mom used to say, "If wishes were horses, we'd be up to our eyeballs in shit.
There will be days that you don’t want to dress up and if you have some decent looking athletic wear, you can give the illusion that you’ve just been working out, as opposed to giving up on life.
Jenna slipped in wearing an outfit that I can only describe as Hello Kitty Goes Goth.
Let's face it -- if I could scrap in a full-length bodysuit, I would.
This advice from a college freshman carrying a cane?""It's a walking stick, I'll have you know.""Same difference.""Hardly. It's fashion.
I am still not used to being the possessor of such a grand title. I believe I shall have to start wearing a purple satin turban and carrying a lorgnette.
I do wish this time you'd try to dress better while you're home. Folks in town get the wrong impression of you. They think you are--ah--slumming.
How am I supposed to believe you when you're obviously carrying a fake monogram Gucci Bag?
Eva, " she said exasperated. "You should've established a personal style by now-and it shouldn't be sweats!"Monica, Eva Tramell's mother, in "Reflected in You
My motto for fashion: If you can’t afford to make an elegant statement, make a ridiculous one.
That civet-jasmine blend you're wearing tonight absolutely clashes with the third-level formal style of your dress, you know.
The English play hockey in any weather. Thunder, lightening, plague of locusts...nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey, for the hockey will win.
Sopping, and with no sign of stopping, either- then a breather. Warm again, storm again- what is the norm, again? It's fine, it's not, it's suddenly hot: Boom, crash, lightning flash!
When people try to rain on your parade, ...pee on theirs