Humor Quotes
Finally- no more ruddy show for the folks back home. No pretending it's all beer and skittles and no one ever gets hurt.- Phoenix and Ashes
If I wanted to consume something that looks and tastes like dirt, I’d eat dirt, ” I said, “at least dirt isn’t overpriced."~Beans~
I can say infinite for you to stay, but sadly it only took one from you to break us away and us separate ways
Well, then, what's the plan now? You can't stay here forever.'My plan was indeed to stay there forever.
But Phoebe loved her mother best as she was now, wistful, out-of-step, her laugh tinged always with sadness, as if things were only funny in spite of themselves.
People say that they want to kill me. All I say is "I'm sorry but your appointment doesn't start until another hour, please sit in the waiting room.
I’ve never been bothered with my conduct. I’ve only been bothered by people that don’t get it correct when they gossip about me.
At the dealership, I pulled out the sieve and toyed with it threateningly. When the salesman was ready for me, I held it up, told him I was not a tourist and demanded a large discount.
Never trust a German to get a sauce right. Their solution to everything is just add more butter.
Villagers saw me as a person when I played with them, as opposed to when I talked with them.
The fear of death is why we build cathedrals, have children, declare war, and watch cat videos online at three a.m.
It is a wise man who, when his spouse asks, "How does this look?" can answer honestly without upsetting her.
It's the only way anything will change. Because we are both mother and child, cause and effect, villain and victim
In WASP families, if you don't get along with someone, you have as little to do with them as possible. In Jewish families, you move next door, to make them as miserable as possible.
If I say you're a goatherd's son, you say, 'Yes, Lord Ralon.'"Alanna gasped with fury. "I'd as soon kiss a pig! Is that what you've been doing-kissing pigs? Or being kissed?
There are as many kinds of anger as there are of the sunsets with which they ought to end.
Do you still want me to go to hell? I must admit, I don't know the way.
The German language is so sonorous, isn't it? Beautiful language...the language of poetry. Angry, angry poetry.
Inu-Yasha: Is it my imagination, or have you been a little prickly l
That man has some seriously oversized ovaries. Can you say PMS? He barked at anyone and everyone before shoving his way outside.
That man has some seriously oversized ovaries. Can you say PMS? He braked at anyone and everyone before shoving his way outside.
I tell you, I'm half tempted to break into CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon out of CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon
Dr Adams was following my orders if you want to blame someone blame me -casiusoh i do, I'm just so pissed i had extra left over - Jace
On the porch were the still-smoking remains of long-stemmed roses, evidence that someone angry and passive-aggressive didn't know Peter was out of town.
The interior of the arms dealer's private jet was so ugly it hurt my feelings as well as my eyeballs.
Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert
Having writers block sucks more than my actual writing. And my writing would be astonishing if I could write how I feel.
so, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER!!! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN!! JUST LIKE A PIG!!! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH!!!!
Man has been bestowed with all the senses, Alas! What a drama, we are yet to know the art of using it!
Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.
And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...
I used to look at Jinks and marvel at her smooth complexion, but over the years I have come to realise that she has been spared wrinkles by virtue of never having succumbed to heavy thought.
