Humor Quotes
It would be either a very skilled or very unwise man to steal from an assassin.” - Taliesin
They worried to an excessive degree about getting gender correct, as if elves gave a shit. Humans could keep their concerns about everyone’s genitalia to themselves.
I killed a couple of people, ” Scooter said. “Wanna play cards?
...and now over to our foriegn allegory correspondant, Barv Tweezman." ~The Shielding of Mortimer Townes
We have to destroy the radioactive brain of Madame Curie.
Just like the cosmonauts and their pee plants, all we have is each other.
Despite centuries of English literature, the most famous split infinitive in all of history comes from Star Trek.
They’re only askin’ you to do one thing. From what Rogue says, you ain’t exactly reluctant.”“F**k myself into a coma. Sure, I can do that. Then what?”“Uh, wait an hour?
The red tongues that went licking up my heap of wood were an altogether new and strange thing to Weena.
You know what, Michael? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship of loathing.
If you don't leave room for the unexpected to express itself in your life, you close yourself off from the possibility of miracles.
I couldn’t help but notice how hot he looked tonight with his strong build lining his t-shirt. He should never cover his beauty with clothes and such things. - Ariel
A teleporting cat! Is she yours?" Dr. Daniel McCleod. "Suki
Three weeks hadn't changed Cop Central. The coffee was still poisonous, the noise abominable, and the view out of her stingy window was still miserable.She was thrilled to be back.
...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me.""You don't know that.""Yeah, you're right, " Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.
Who is this man?''Chinaman, or rather half Chinese and half German. Got a daft name. Calls himself Doctor No - Doctor Julius No.''No? Spelt like Yes?''That's right.
The gun bounced so much in her shaky grasp that if she did fire, he’d likely be the one to catch the bullet.
An action made by a unwitting man, shall not define, nor justify a common though and interpretation.
Steal not this book for fear of shameFor on it is the owners nameAnd when you die the Lord will sayWhere is the book you stole awayAnd when you say you do not knowThe Lord will say go down below.
I escape disaster by writing a poem with a joke in it:The past, present, and future walk into a bar—it was tense.
...flames moved towards himand dropped within-singed and marred his tender skin ...(the frightful plight tale)
Now Leroux, what think youOf this twist to the story?
How many great gems were lost to thoughtand not put down to pen.You can but think of just a fewand then they're lost again.
He had seen better days - though these had only served to embitter him against his current circumstances.
1. Reading becomes knowledge.2. Applying knowledge becomes experience.Most people have done 1 but they forget 2. These people blow too much without effective result.
Simplicity may be simple, but like complexity it requires linguistic precision, and may therefore call for relatively obscure expressions at times.
At the end of the second week they were still working and Arretapec, Conway and their patient were being talked, whistled, cheeped and grunted about in every language in use at the hospital.
Up and down' is Irish for anything at all--from crying into the dishes to full-blown psychosis. Though, now that I think about, a psychotic is more usually 'not quite herself'.
...it always felt good to have that moment of resolve, like saying, "I'm gonna learn French!" It doesn't matter if you do it or not, deciding is the high, right?
As Richard has pointed out on several occasions, I subscribe to the irregular verb theory of life: I am a trained investigator, you have a healthy curiosity, she/he is a nosy parker.
I should think a dead language would be rather boring, sociallyspeaking.
I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns are present in every language, though not shared by any of them.
Spanish—how shall I say this?—is likePortuguese spoken with a speech impediment.
How many Lojbanists does it take to change a brokenlight-bulb?” goes the old Lojban joke. “Two: one to decidewhat to change it into and one to decide what kind of bulbemits broken light.
I like to see an angry Englishman, " said Poirot. "They are very amusing. The more emotional they feel the less command they have of language.
And if Germans do have systematic minds, this is just as likely to be because their exceedingly erratic mother tongue has exhausted their brains' capacity to cope with any further irregularity
We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.