Humor Quotes

I need only you, Milano, not your money.

It's just like in a Brazilian serial! Destiny has brought us together.

I'm afraid that if we move on to such topics, I won't be able to let you go safe and sound.

And you haven’t got a ‘pause’ button, have you? You are just uncontrollable!

Everyone thinks to the extent of their own depravity, ” #HenriettaLedyanova, #FatefulItalianPassion .

Don't be shy, dear. I'm too old for you to be embarrassed by me.” #RicardoAlonso, #FatefulItalianPassion.

He hadn’t struck her as particularly religious unless she counted the number of times he’d called out to Jesus when he’d been deep inside her.

He was stretched out like he was her own personal playground and she wanted to ride on his equipment for a bit longer.

If I’d known a sixty-niner was the way to your heart I would have done it weeks ago.

He’d gone too far. He didn’t usually talk to women so frankly. Not with them both fully clothed anyway.

True friends chop the onions and cry together.

Women strive to be the change they want to see in the mirror.

I improvise therefore I exist!

Hands can cook, hands can create, hands can kill. There is no better tool than our hands.

McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories.McGough: Really? When?Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time ...

Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly

loneliness can fly a helicopter through a cut-out shapeof a helicopter the same size as the helicopterand that's it's only skilland it isn't good enoughbut it's still amazing.

Stars in the night, ' he said. 'Something something something something, some delight

Give a poet a pen

The BALLPOINT PENGUINS, black and white, Do little else but write and write.Although they've nothing much to say, They write and write it anyway....

I was compared to Charles Bukowski yesterday. It was the best and worst compliment I've ever gotten.

It was a scary thought. A man could be surrounded by poetry reading and not know it.

How do you knowyou're a girl?I'm wearing a frock.And if you take it off?I get cold, so I putit back on.If I was a boy, I don't know what I'd do.

During our first date, I wanted to hold your hand so badI almost cut mine offand threw it at youto see if you would catch it

Poetry is not an art, it's a symptom.

Rather a thousand times the county jail than to lie under this marble figure with wings and this granite pedestal bearing the words "pro patria." What do they mean anyway?

Sometimes we can focus so much on nothing that we make it a big something of nothing

Just think of what would have happened to poor old Naaman if he had decided to dunk himself only once?

I agreed to keep the cards a secret and asked my grandmother if she believed in magic. She said she did not but that, surprisingly, magic worked even if you did not believe in it.

If you haven't cried at least once while writing a chapter of your inspirational book, then you have to ask yourself if your're writing fiction.

Being a writer is 1% inspiration, 50% perspiration and 49% explaining you're not a millionaire like J.K.Rowling.

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post what it feels about dogs.", October 31, 1977]

You can't judge a book by it's cover but you can sure sell a bunch of books if you have a good one.

It's not the despair, Laura. I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand. ~ Brian Stimpson, Clockwise

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

Do you write novels?" I said."Novels, Lord no, " she said. "I can't even stay married.

The pen is mightier than the sword unless it's a real sword in which case the guy with the pen should run away fast.

The world requires me to re-write its wretched dialogue!

Writer's block' is just a fancy way of saying 'I don't feel like doing any work today.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Writing is turning life's worst moments into money.

If you hear voices, you’re a lunatic. If you write down what they say, you’re an author.

Writing a novel is like going a great distance to take a small shit.

I'm not trying to please anyone. I'm just trying to write a damn book.

In the world of your story, your outline is like the Ten Commandments. Unfortunately, your characters are all Atheists.

I go with the flow but I write against it.

I'm the first to admit that I don't write right. Now, relax and enjoy the show! The sideshow, that is.

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

Any fool can write a book and most of them are doing it but it takes brains to build a house.

While writing is like a joyful release, editing is a prison where the bars are my former intentions and the abusive warden my own neuroticism.