Golf Quotes

If the Masters offered no money at all, I would be here trying just as hard.

Hit the ball up to the hole... You meet a better class of people up there.

I'm glad I brought this course, this monster, to its knees.

I find golf very relaxing. It's a way to get away from work and get outside. It's a lot of fun, and once you get going it's almost kind of addictive.

A decision of the courts decided that the game of golf may be played on a Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort.

There is no life for girls in team sports past Little League. I got into tennis when I realized this, and because I thought golf would be too slow for me, and I was too scared to swim.

Try to think where you want to put the ball, not where you don't want it to go.

I don't care about that. The Green Coat is enough for me.

A typical day in the life of a heavy metal musician consists of a round of golf and an AA meeting.

I've taken up golf in the past five or six years, and most of the time there aren't too many people out there that can drive a ball further than I can.

Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

We're on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It's a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters.

Golf is a game that creates emotions that sometimes cannot be sustained with the club still in one's hand.

Bad putting is due more to the effect the green has upon the player than it has upon the action of the ball.

Too much ambition is a bad thing to have in a bunker.

Golf is like eating peanuts. You can play too much or play too little.

The golf swing is among the most stressful and unnatural acts in sports, short of cheering for the Yankees.

That divot is so deep, I will need a sod cutter to fix it.

Never take a mulligan on a par 3. A "hole in three" is not a fun story to relive.

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

I was asked by a golfer how to lower his scores. I replied start playing 9 holes instead of 18. I worked for me, it cut my scores in half.

Golf is like smoking, I have been trying to quit for years.

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

Not even Barbra Streisand celebrates herself as tirelessly as golf celebrates itself.

It's easy to see golf not as a game at all but as some whey-faced, nineteenth-century Presbyterian minister's fever dream of exorcism achieved through ritual and self-mortification.

I like golf, hiking, camping, boating and fishing.

Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game.

Winners are different. They're a different breed of cat.

[When asked how someone 6'3" had dared take up golf:] I was too tall to make the chess team in my high school, so I tried golf.

Anyone who hasn't been nervous, or hasn't choked somewhere down the line, is an idiot.

Concentrate on hitting the green. The cup will come to you.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking - and that's all that golf is - then you are officially fat.

Jack Nicklaus is a legend in his spare time.

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

Trevino is in a league by himself. We don't even count him. We figure when you come in second, you're a winner.

The best putting advice I ever received was make sure you concentrate real hard on keeping that darn ball real low

I was on the dance floor but I couldn't hear the band.

To be truthful, I think golfers are overpaid. It's unreal, and I have trouble dealing with the guilt sometimes.

Under pressure, one of the most important things I have to remember to do is breathe.

It was a gift, something you can't teach. His hands looked like they were born to have a golf club in them.

In golf, you keep your head down and follow through. In the vice presidency, you keep your head up and follow through. It's a big difference.

But I do have time to pencil in golf, and we've got four excellent courses.

For one thing, I like to walk when I play golf. Now I don't walk the whole way, but I try not to be the driver when in a cart.

At my first Masters, I got the feeling, that if I didn't play well, I wouldn't go to heaven.

I get in my golf cart with my dogs, I have five dogs.

I found golf late in life, in 1990. I took some lessons and struggled. Then one day, I hit a drive that was so crisp and clean, with no vibration. There's no feeling like it. I was hooked.