Funny Quotes
We are all regular people, Pia, ’ she laughs. ‘But we are notregular wives.
When I was small I dreamed of demons. I thought they were under my bed, but you said, it can't be so, you don't get demons our side of the river, the guards won't let them over London Bridge.
All the kids with fancy shoes or clothes, do you know what I got with a family of nine? When ever we said let's play poker, we had a full team of adults right there.
How are you doing, son?""If you don't get started, I'll rip out your heart and have it for breakfast."- Michael to Solo
All right, baby, " Daphne crooned."Talk to Mama and tell me all your secrets. . . .
There really is no sense in pretending to be normal. Just be you because the moment you do, weirder things happen. Crazy comes back into fashion and every woman has to go out and find her some.
Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all.
Werewolves and silver bullets!” Shakespeare coughed a quick laugh and shook his head. “Lord, what fools these mortals be!
I almost forgot to tell you - you have the right to remain silent, but if you do, my boys at the station will process your bones to help you confess.
Little tape recorders, that's what kids are, Cat thought. If you want to find out what your husband is saying behind your back, play Barbie with your daughter.
everything is negotiable. everything.
You’re nasty and you’re loud, you’re mean enough for two, If I could be a cloud, I’d rain all day on you.
The dog growled again, long and ferocious. The hair on my neck tingled.And just when I knew he would attack, a horrible scream split the air, and Darlene passed out and fell over on her side.
My two greatest loves were, of course, Daphne and Hyacinthus, but when you're a god as popular as
People who talk too much are tiresome, especially those who are not informative, thought-provoking, or funny.
I grunted, hauling the rope hand over hand. A plaintive squeak came from the pulley system with each draw, as if I had strapped some unfortunate mouse to a torture device and was twisting with glee.
Percy!’ Annabeth scolded. ‘You just opened another Monster Doughnut shop somewhere!
Like your zodiac sign? Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.'No, stupid, ' Leo said. I'm a Leo. You're a Percy.
Like your zodiac sign?' Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.''No, stupid, ' Leo said. 'I'm a Leo. You're a Percy.
So, you invite a wild rabbit living in Italy to a party on the island of Crete. What’s it supposed to do, swim there? Its little tux would get wet.
Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can’t. It’s not organic.
Zane raised his brow. “Didn’t I say that yesterday?” he asked, forcinghimself to be patient. Somehow.“You say that like you think I listen to you, ” Ty responded instantly, asmile pulling at his lips.
it’s funny how I’m encouraged to go to school so much, but I’ve learned more valuable things on google then from school.
How is it that food STILL contains calories that make you gain weight in the 21st CENTURY?! It’s like scientists aren’t even trying!
These eggs are broken. Cracked.""Yes, ma'am. That happens sometimes.""Does it?""Yes, it's the unfortunate part of being an egg.
Mom let go of us and leaned back so she could look us both in the eye. “No more spending the night in the tree fort, you two.
The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven.
Tropical trees had been planted throughout the room, along with bright flowering plants that were busy committing the olfactory floral equivalent of aggravated assault.
Now, my intention was to drink just enough to dull the senses, but intentions should never be mixed with alcohol.
You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order
...I guess I can put two and two together.""Sometimes the answer's four, " I said, "and sometimes it's twenty-two...