Funny Quotes

The midget, Bush, and that Rumsfeld deserve only to be beaten with shoes by freedom loving people everywhere.

The insane little dwarf, Bush.

We will slaughter them; Bush Junior, and his international gang of bastards!

It did suffer and it became very weak, while the reporters from Iraqi radio and television stations were more active and had more accurate information.

God willing, we will throw them into the sea.

Big institutions in this imperial state, in this evil US empire, prepare their politicians to become criminals.

I think that the Iraqi ground defenses shot down dozens of missiles. We are in the process of counting all these missiles quickly

These mercenaries and hirelings kidnapped civilians in the Al-Faw Peninsula so that they might claim that they captured Iraqi soldiers.

With respect to the situation in Al-Faw, the British told big lies. In Al-Faw, our forces' positions remained in place.

Everyone could face something that hurts him. But I don't expect that I will be hurt

A difficult situation, not for one individual, but for everybody

The military part of our information network - which we were accustomed to rely on for exact information - was the first part of the network to fall apart

The information was correct but the interpretations were not.

Whoever dies will be rewarded by heaven.

Their casualties and bodies are many. Their equipment and vehicles, several were destroyed.

The criminals will be humiliated... To hurt the enemy more, raise the level of your attacks.

We are determined to defeat them and destroy them on the walls of our capital, as we are determined to destroy their miserable armies in every Muslim spot.

They've not been able to control any Iraqi city. We're waging war against this snake and we will be victorious.

They are lying every day. They are lying always, and mainly they are lying to their public opinion

Fight them everywhere. Don't give them a chance to breathe until they withdraw and retreat.

They are achieving nothing, they are suffering from casualties. Those casualties are increasing, not decreasing

The Iraqi troops and the Iraqi fighters are in control of all the places, as we have witnessed, no big change in that. We are fighting against them.

Iraq will spread them even more and chop them up.

It was unworthy of our military sources that they were the first to weaken.

Authentic sources. Many authentic sources.

As our leader Saddam Hussein said, 'God is grilling their stomachs in hell.'

Sometimes I was so funny I couldn’t stand myself.

You can make the audience laugh, be funny and sad at the same time.

Yeah, I think there are a lot of things about Cleveland that I miss. Los Angeles is a funny place to live.

I'm retiring the Mos Def name after 2011. I'm actually doing it.

We often laughed at others in our house, and I picked up the craft of being polite while people were present and laughing later if there was anything to laugh about.

Stewart has two cars in the top five: Magnusson 5th and Barichello 6th.

And he's done that in a whisker under 10 seconds, call it 9.7 in round figures.

And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over.

Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place.

We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando Wooldridge, it's a coach's dream - X vs O.

Sometimes he hated that voice in his brain, the one that slapped him upside the head anytime he got too stupid. Funny, it happened a lot with Sienna.

The three theater peeps I would love to dine with are Mel Brooks, because he is so funny; Stephen Sondheim, because he is a god-like genius; and Ethel Merman, to compare notes on fabulous belting.

It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent.

I wish his music came out of the closet and admit that it sucks.

Don't be intimidated by my outfit, it's Forever 21.

TLC should stand for Toddlers, Lunatics, and Cake.

Ke$ha IS the walk of shame.

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

My job changes very little because I've found that the more you try to be funny, the less funny you become.

I just think [Gangster Party Line] is funny and stupid and all the dudes in it are real dudes. It's just a funny construction.

It's funny how a flame can only burn your hand if you move too slow, you can tease it all you want and it never gets you, if your quick enough.

That's funny because if anyone actually did prove the existence of God we'd just tell him 'nice proof, Fraa Bly' and start believing in God.