Funny Inspirational Quotes

Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.

It isn't that life ashore is distasteful to me. But life at sea is better.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

Retain a calm heart, sit like a turtle, walk swiftly like a pigeon, and sleep like a dog

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost.

Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.

Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing.

Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else.

Unless we take action on climate change, future generations will be roasted, toasted, fried and grilled.

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

To me, crying is not a sign of weakness. She wants it that bad and she puts her whole heart into it. She had really high expectations, and that's why she's so good. She just had a bad game.

There is a Japanese proverb that literally goes 'Raise the sail with your stronger hand,' meaning you must go after the opportunities that arise in life that you are best equipped to do.

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

The sun and moon shine on all without partiality.

One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do.

Every kind of music is good, except the boring kind.

Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk.

Readers are plentiful; thinkers are rare.

It's bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children's health than the pediatrician.

Interviewing is tough, especially if you don't know what you're looking for.

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

When you don't know what you're doing, fake it.

Always enter like a kitten and leave like a lion. But NEVER enter like a lion and leave like a kitten. Always be humble.

A sailing ship is no democracy; you don't caucus a crew as to where you'll go anymore than you inquire when they'd like to shorten sail.

I try to look at this music career thing as the means to an end. And really, at the end of it, I see myself on a sailboat, sailing off the edge of the world.

To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food.

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

To young men contemplating a voyage I would say go.

It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realized I'd become an actor.

The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it.

I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.

It takes a lot of hard work and dedication just like any pro sport. Especially for beach volleyball you don't have to be tall or as fast as other sports. You just have to have the skills.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

You can build a throne with bayonets, but it's difficult to sit on it.

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

Men hunt I think maybe because they have something wrong with their own equipment and they need something else to shoot.

When all think alike, then no one is thinking

The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs.

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

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