Sarah Silverman Quotes

We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and not check them all out.

People can't help what topics cut them deep. It all depends on who's inferring - and what the contexts of their lives are at the time.

I don't want to deconstruct what I do.

I became known for surprising audiences. Except now, if I surprise them every time, they expect that.

There are so many great comedies, right now. I like how comedies are really mixing. They're not just one thing. It can be very moving and dramatic, and yet hilarious.

I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.

Some things are just for private. It's like people thinking I'm cold or this or that. It's unfortunate, but I don't need strangers to know that I'm warm. I don't need strangers to know the real me.

When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.

The audience works as such a mob. They either all laugh or all don't laugh, and, you know, changes from audience to audience.

I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

Scientology is weird because it's new.

I didn't feel so different until maybe, like, around third grade. Kids started blaming me for my people killing Jesus.

Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.

The worst thing that can happen for people who don't want women to be strong is that we help each other and become a force.

I can't wait till Sunday, I'm gonna see my favorite niece and my other niece.

I have no religion, but I can't escape being extremely Jewish ethnically - that is, culturally. In other words, I'm not religious, but I worry and I'm neurotic. And I'm very good with money.

I've never had an abortion. And I don't know if I would. But, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't fight to the death for women to make their own choices for their own human bodies.

It's just hard to say, "Well, I do this, which means this." If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.

Smells definitely do have a crazy impact on me.

If I have kids, I'll adopt.

I like my life alone.

Men like to squash you. I just want someone who's happy with himself, happy with his life. He doesn't have to squash mine.

Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I was confident. I kind of feel in between now.

Growing up, I always loved Disney movies, but the first movie I remember seeing is 'Sleepers,' so I wasn't really taken to children's movies.

I do love the idea of ritual.

It feels weird in our ear holes to hear people worshipping a guy named Ron. We know Rons in our life.

If you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can't complain of flesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play.

I can't cater to everyone's needs and what they're going to be offended by; that's one freedom I have.

I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love.

I'm always in those tabloids where they show who's badly dressed. It's funny, because each time I'm getting my picture taken, I'm thinking, This is a nice outfit.

Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.

I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.

I'm doing stuff on Kaballah and Scientology and a little bit more racial stuff, for good measure.

I'm a total one-hour drama addict. I think when you're a comedian, you tend towards dramas because that's the less stressful thing to watch.

I learned pretty early is I never defend my material; it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive.

I'd love to do drama if it was interesting.

I never want to be in a position where I have to defend my material. It's too subjective. It's for other people to defend or not defend.

Everyone's got their own velocity, and there's no real time frame with comedy.

If my Catholic boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that Mommy is one of God's chosen people, and Daddy believes that Jesus is magic!

I'll be back. I'll be black. I'll be white black.

I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It's funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I'm not religious at all. I have no religion.

This is AIDS. AIDS is as real as an egg.

I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.

I can get a script and go, "Well, I'd rather do stand-up." I don't hold movies in higher regard. I love making videos and posting. I love TV.

I just think of myself as a comedian, really.

Sometimes I am screwing around, and sometimes I get way too serious, but I am a pretty sincere person.

I love making videos on my couch. You can put those on the Internet fast. I can express myself.

You want the actors to disappear into roles and stay under the radar, and that gets harder when someone is known for their actual personality, or who they seem to be.

I'm lucky a couple of filmmakers have seen beyond what you're saying.

I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful. I mean, I live in a three-room apartment. I mostly make free videos on my couch. But I am fine.