Sarah Silverman Quotes

I don't really care for like fat jokes about women, specifically.

Anything television trivia I'm good at. But when you're on your couch, you're really good at it, but when you're standing there, it's probably scary.

My mom was always someone who if, even now, I say I met a certain famous person, she always says, "She's married to so and so!"

I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about offstage.

I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.

If I have to write by a certain time, I can pull through, but usually I just let stuff happen, hanging out with comic friends - or bringing a basic idea on stage and seeing if it goes anywhere.

I dress normal because I want people to treat me regular. And their brains explode. It's really fun.

I can see myself adopting. I'm not in a rush to do it. I'm 39, I know, but I do love kids, and I'm very good - I've got a lot of really good moves.

I happen to think that there are already tons of perfectly good babies out there already born.

I was sent to sleepover camp since I was 6, and you know, it's a recipe for disaster.

I was a bedwetter until I was about 15, and it was humiliating.

Jews are the most liberal, scrappy, civil-rightsy people there are.

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.

Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it.

I always look at myself knowing that I will have a certain degree of cognitive distortion.

I grew up in a house where there were no taboos, so it came originally from a pretty innocent place, where I was shocked at the things that shocked people.

Comedy is about talking about my own experience, and I'm a woman, and that's my experience, and just because it isn't yours doesn't invalidate it.

As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under a rock.

Summer camp: the second worst camp for Jews.

I think I've been called edgy - but in all honestly, there is a safety in what I do because I'm always the idiot.

Nothing seems crazy when you're used to it.

Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you!

It's not cold in here, you're just dying.

I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends, and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it's hard to find someone who doesn't ultimately start judging you and your choices.