Red Quotes
Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!
Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?
Unlike the normal pattern, I know I have grown more liberal as I've grown older. I have become more convinced that there is room for improvement in the world.
Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!
Science was many things, Nadia thought, including a weapon with which to hit other scientists.
Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!
To get what he wanted, a man had to give other people what they wanted.
Dogs have their day but cats have 365.
Writing is very much like bricklaying. You learn to put one brick on top of another and spread the mortar so thick.
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap
John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!
Moses, who said when the Red Sea parted, What the hell was that? I was just going in for a dip! Never got a dinner!
George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.
Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!
To a father, when a child dies, the future dies; to a child when a parent dies, the past dies.
You have to be as fully prepared for the dull game as you are for the great game, or else you won't be prepared for the great one.
William Tell's son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, There's gotta be an easier way to kill worms. Never got a dinner!
Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
Noah's wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It's your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!
Reality is a sound, you have to tune in to it not just keep yelling.
The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!
The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!
Noah's wife, who said to Noah, Don't let the elephants watch the rabbits. Never got a dinner!
Eve said to the serpent, “You know I could go for a bite to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.”
You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
The only football players in my time were fellows who really loved to play football. They were not in it for the money. There wasn't much money there. They would have played football for nothing.
Maid Marion, who said to Robin Hood, I will not live in a house with a Little John. Never got a dinner!
Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!
Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner!
The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!
