R. H. Dana Quotes

Death's vigilance is eternal, so shall mine be.

In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.

I think you take whatever it is that you would do for free and you figure out the way to do it.

Does anyone remember how we used to get cash before ATM's? Did we have to go inside the bank? Then what? We lived like apes!

You rarely get a convincing lecture on playing to your strength from a bald guy with a ponytail.

Time goes by so fast and worry is really wasted time and energy.

One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.

Because of Bluetooth headsets, it's getting more and more difficult to tell who's schizophrenic and who's on a conference call.

Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!

If she were a President, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'

Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

I think I deserve an apology.

The hole on the face of an acoustic guitar is called the sound hole. The one of the face of its player is called the sincerity hole.

59% of all suicides are actually botched murder-suicides performed by dyslexics.

I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings.

If you gave a bag of potato chips to the guy who invented Pringles, he'd look at you like you were trying to hand him an abortion.

My life is just like Breaking Bad except instead of a chemistry teacher I'm just a guy and instead of making meth I don't do much.

O sin, what hast thou done to this fair earth!

Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

UFC 151 will be remembered as the event Jon Jones and Greg Jackson murdered.

You have to celebrate the gifts because life is so hard and I think once you realize life's gonna be hard, the good stuff really comes forward.

There is no fast, easy shortcut for the word abbreviation.

I don't mind being alone when I'm surrounded by people, I just hate being alone when I'm alone.

Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.

We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term.

I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get it. You sit here - I'll get it, I'll make it.

What if you went to Hell, and it was exactly what you thought it would be: just a cave with fire? And the devil really was this idiot in a red leotard with a pitchfork?

When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.

I think the whole nerves thing comes into play when we worry about what other people and society will think.

The more women walk around in sweat pants, the harder it is to tell who's out jogging and who's running away from a mugger.

Dames are always pulling a switch on you.

Carbon dioxide is....being portrayed as a pollutant; in fact, it makes things grow, and it is not toxic to humans.

I suggest that people make an effort to reach out to five people a month. Not just by Facebook or email or Twitter. I'm talking hard-copy note.

Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

Learn as much as you can while you are young, since life becomes too busy later.

Take any job, get started and stop with the video games and pot. I'm not for that.

I've been dating younger men since my 20s, When I was 29, I dated someone 21... younger men are just more fun. I like their energy. I've always been kind of young for my age.

If shoppers looked at crooked carrots, misshapen potatoes, slightly dinged apples or too-small peaches and thought, wow, that looks delicious, imagine the benefits for struggling farmers.

In Europe the parents are included as with children. All three generations are together. I'm thinking of Italy. You go out on a Sunday afternoon and the whole family is there.

I love being on stage or in front of the camera. My work brings me a lot of joy. It helps me figure out who I am. I'm really lucky that I get to make a living at acting.

Television is more of a business. You can't take as many risks, because there's so many channels now, and the advertising's dropping.

The new year always brings us what we want Simply by bringing us along—to see A calendar with every day uncrossed, A field of snow without a single footprint.

The overall message is 'one love,' which means love begins with oneself. If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone around you.

I actually think that the president owes the Jews of Europe an apology. They deserve better from the President of the United States. Anti-semitism is on the rise, and somebody must stick up for them.

I think that having love in your life does open up doors and other possibilities.

Common sense dictates the term hot fudge sundae has a totally different meaning in prison.

Don't ever let anybody know you're injured.

Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.