Dana Carvey Quotes

I think free speech is probably the coolest thing we have in this country, and again, you can label it hate speech and dismiss it, and then you're allowed to censor it.

After years of begging, I got my parents to get me a little Craig tape recorder, a reel to reel. Then I started recording voices, or recording Jonathan Winters off television and stuff like that.

If I only ran when nothing hurt, I would never run.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

You know, sometimes you can't just take an armadillo, put it in the barn, light it on fire and expect it to make licorice.

It's almost like he's started to sound even more exotic the more people started doing him. I don't know why, but there's just something about Al Gore that makes me laugh.

Am I not turtley enough for the Turtle Club? Turtle! Turtle!

If she were a President, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln!

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'

I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings.

Describing comic sensibility is near impossible. It's sort of an abstract silliness, that sometimes the joke isn't the star.

I think ABC sort of hoped I would be really like Carol Burnett. I mean literally, I think.

You know ladies and gentlemen, a long time ago , there were lots of people, but that was a long time ago

When people come to see my stand-up, they get a chance to see my characters interact with each other.

I always tend to think of all of my shows as possibly my last show. I'm like a junior Springsteen, without the underbite.

I don't find biology as interesting as politics and humanism. I talk more about existential stuff.

I'm a friend of the CEO of Twitter and he showed me how to be on it, but it causes such an uproar if what you post is perceived in a negative light.

Please, O ye Lord, keep Jim Bakker behind bars.

I tried to go out for theater or theater arts, but I was too scared or too intimidated. But I had a lot of friends on the cross country team that had great senses of humor.

I have a theory that if you're famous more years than you're not famous, then you get a little nutty.

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

My characters all start with rhythms and sounds. Once I hear the voice and get into the rhythm, the attitude and the physicality just come out on their own.

I enjoy pushing my characters to the limit. No matter how far out there I go, I look for things that make the characters human.

I had auditioned for 'Saturday Night Live' two or three times before and never really saw myself there. I looked up to Belushi and Bill Murray and Aykroyd and I never saw myself as in their world.

While many comics have a secret persona, I fundamentally want to be myself.

I really enjoy being a dad, and maybe I took it too seriously, but I love being around my kids.

Well, I loved variety in television, I loved sketch comedy. At 'Saturday Night Live,' I stayed almost seven years.

I never read the tabloids.

I have this dream life where I get to be a celebrity but I get to kind of navigate the world fairly easily because I'm always in character.

You know, Elizabeth Taylor must be in Heaven going, 'Alright, fire two honey!'

I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.

I did a lot of ridiculous television. Between 1980 and '85 I had no confidence, so I did everything I was told to do.

If you just kind of live a regular life and make good 'Hollywood' money, you have a certain freedom.

I'm a real people-pleaser.