Kin Hubbard Quotes

Lots of fellows think a home is only good to borrow money on.

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.

In spite of all our speeding it's still the style to be late.

Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet, subtle satisfaction without the risk.

Making a long stay short is a great aid to popularity.

Gittin' talked about is one o' th' penalties for bein' purty.

It's the good loser who finally loses out.

It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations

It used to be that a fellow went on the police force when everything else failed, but today he goes in the advertising game.

Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.

If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.

Look out for the people who allow you to do all the talking.

There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.

If at first you do succeed don't take any more chances.

Hon Editor Cale Fluhart was a power politically fer years, but he never got prominent enough t' have his speeches garbled.

The man who says "I may be wrong, but--" does not believe there can be any such possibility.

Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

Never tell the box-office man that you can't hear well or he will sell you a seat where you can't see either.

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands.

There is plenty of peace in any home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together.

University: ... a place where rich men send their sons who have no aptitude for business.

The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.

Ther's still a few honest folks left but they never seem t' find anything you lose.

We're all self-made men, but not very many of us have stayed on the job.

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.

It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.

After a fellow gets famous it doesn't take long for someone to bob up that used to sit by him in school.

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done

Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young.

When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

The longer it takes you to select a cantaloupe, the worse it is!

Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They just can't buzz any slower.

Experience is a dear teacher but he delivers th' goods.

Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

Politics makes strange post-masters.

We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want.

There's many a slip twixt the blueprints and a new house.

Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.

There ought t'be some way t'eat celery so it wouldn't sound like you wuz steppin' on a basket.

A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends.

The rich man and his daughter are soon parted.

The fellow that calls you 'brother' usually wants something that doesn't belong to him.

Don't say yes until I've finished talking. - Attributed to many Hollywood executives Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

If there's any literary ability in a feller, getting fired out of a good government job will bring it out.