Don't a fellow feel good after he gets out of a store where he nearly bought something.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

How to partner with the power of the cosmos to fulfill your destiny

Most great advances have been a collaboration. That is the joy of science for me.

[A]s you partake of the world's bill of fare, that's darned good advice to follow. Do a lot of spitting out the hot air. And be careful what you swallow.

If there is a difference between what is said and what is done, only a fool believes what was said.

One of the biggest sacrifices in running for President, if there is one, is the loss of anonymity.

I'm not only a fan of Apple products, I have stock in the company. I think Steve Jobs has started one of the greatest corporations in the world.

I know what Twitter is; I don't use it. I don't use Facebook, so luckily, it does zero to my ego.

No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow.

I'm always looking at other artists and trying to get inspired by different things.

No might nor greatness in mortality Can censure 'scape; back- wounding calumny The whitest virtue strikes. What king so strong Can tie the gall up in the slanderous tongue?