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JT Fields Quotes

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JT Fields Quotes: "Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one."

Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.



JT Fields Quotes: "If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons."

If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.




JT Fields Quotes: "When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other."

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.



JT Fields Quotes: "Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle."

Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle.




JT Fields Quotes: "I love my family in Baltimore. But on their side of the family, I love their cousin Charles Thompson, because he's from New York like me."

I love my family in Baltimore. But on their side of the family, I love their cousin Charles Thompson, because he's from New York like me.



JT Fields Quotes: "The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother."

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.



JT Fields Quotes: "The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive."

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.




JT Fields Quotes: "I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison."

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.



JT Fields Quotes: "I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here."

I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.



JT Fields Quotes: "The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance."

The important thing is not being afraid to take a chance.



JT Fields Quotes: "Be great at what you do, and don't ever settle for mediocrity or else you will always wonder how great you could have been."

Be great at what you do, and don't ever settle for mediocrity or else you will always wonder how great you could have been.



JT Fields Quotes: "Don't ever lose sight of your dreams. And, more importantly, reach for the stars."

Don't ever lose sight of your dreams. And, more importantly, reach for the stars.




JT Fields Quotes: "We are here for a reason. We all have a gift or gifts to share."

We are here for a reason. We all have a gift or gifts to share.



JT Fields Quotes: "You have to have passion when you're finding a recipe for a career. If you love what you are doing, you'll never work a day in your life."

You have to have passion when you're finding a recipe for a career. If you love what you are doing, you'll never work a day in your life.



JT Fields Quotes: "Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth."

Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.



JT Fields Quotes: "Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream."

Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.



JT Fields Quotes: "Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket."

Abstaining is favorable both to the head and the pocket.



JT Fields Quotes: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar."

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.



JT Fields Quotes: "I like children. If they're properly cooked."

I like children. If they're properly cooked.



JT Fields Quotes: "We all love conflagrations. When the sky changes color, it is a dead man's passing."

We all love conflagrations. When the sky changes color, it is a dead man's passing.



JT Fields Quotes: "If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for."

If a thing is worth having, it's worth cheating for.



JT Fields Quotes: "I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either."

I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.



JT Fields Quotes: "I love being in the moment. I love my family. I love chocolate. I love baking."

I love being in the moment. I love my family. I love chocolate. I love baking.



JT Fields Quotes: "Happiness is getting a brown gravy stain on a brown dress."

Happiness is getting a brown gravy stain on a brown dress.



JT Fields Quotes: "I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.



JT Fields Quotes: "The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart."

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.



JT Fields Quotes: "I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine"

I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine



JT Fields Quotes: "So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey."

So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey.



JT Fields Quotes: "You do not have to be superhuman to do what you believe in."

You do not have to be superhuman to do what you believe in.



JT Fields Quotes: "Ain't fit for man nor beast"

Ain't fit for man nor beast



JT Fields Quotes: "How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?"

How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?



JT Fields Quotes: "Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it."

Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it.



JT Fields Quotes: "If youre going to be at a job environment, you should love it. You shouldnt do it just for money. You should do it because you love it. And the money comes naturally."

If youre going to be at a job environment, you should love it. You shouldnt do it just for money. You should do it because you love it. And the money comes naturally.



JT Fields Quotes: "Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!"

Try till you succeed...if you don't succeed once, then destroy all evidence of the fact that you tried!



JT Fields Quotes: "Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!"

Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!



JT Fields Quotes: "If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot."

If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.



JT Fields Quotes: "It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl."

It was a marriage of convenience, as my father had a blister on his big toe and couldn't travel far to find a girl.



JT Fields Quotes: "Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night"

Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night



JT Fields Quotes: "Shirley Temple had charisma as a child. But it cleared up as an adult."

Shirley Temple had charisma as a child. But it cleared up as an adult.



JT Fields Quotes: "Love is the reason for it all."

Love is the reason for it all.



JT Fields Quotes: "Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew."

Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.



JT Fields Quotes: "A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him; and it usually does."

A man who overindulges lives in a dream. He becomes conceited. He thinks the whole world revolves around him; and it usually does.



JT Fields Quotes: "There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it."

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.



JT Fields Quotes: "I've waited all my life to say this... I weigh less than Elizabeth Taylor!"

I've waited all my life to say this... I weigh less than Elizabeth Taylor!



JT Fields Quotes: "I use nothing but the best ingredients. My cookies are always baked fresh. I price cookies so that you cannot make them at home for any less. And I still give cookies away."

I use nothing but the best ingredients. My cookies are always baked fresh. I price cookies so that you cannot make them at home for any less. And I still give cookies away.



JT Fields Quotes: "I break all the rules and wear everything. Ruffles, ostrich feathers, fox coats. You look fat in fox anyway, so if you start fat, you only look a little fatter."

I break all the rules and wear everything. Ruffles, ostrich feathers, fox coats. You look fat in fox anyway, so if you start fat, you only look a little fatter.



JT Fields Quotes: "The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies."

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.



JT Fields Quotes: "I must have a drink of breakfast."

I must have a drink of breakfast.



JT Fields Quotes: "Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again."

Children should neither be seen or heard from - ever again.