David Quotes
I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.
The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.
Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection, at least until his wife cools off.
Obama took a tour of the Great Wall of China and said, 'We need one of these things around the White House.'
The National Association of Theater Concessionaires reported that in 1986, 60% of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert.
All comedians are preoccupied with one thing and with one thing only-themmm-selllves. It's a horrible lot in life.
Barack Obama's busy moving into the White House. Earlier today, John McCain was blowing on his soup.
A lot of people think I'm retiring, but I've been telling a fib. I've been forced to leave this job because I gave $75,000 to the Clinton Foundation.
I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
I have talents aplenty. Unfortunately, precious few of them have any redeeming social value.
Hillary Clinton is driving across Iowa in a van. It's to get to know the people she'll never, ever see again in her life.
Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.
The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?
Over the weekend Mitt Romney went body surfing. He has not body surfed since the '90s when he starred on 'Baywatch.'
You all know Newt Gingrich. Newt is short for Newton. People say if that's the case, what is Mitt short for? It's short for 'Mittens.'
John McCain said that Sarah Palin is still a force in the Republican Party. Then he got in his car and backed over his mailbox.
Bill Clinton may in fact be moving back into the White House. And coincidentally I'm thinking about moving back into my mother's house.
Child labor, not a problem. Censorship, not a problem. Torture, not a problem. Chewing gum in China - oh, my God! You better not be over here chewing gum.
The oil spill is getting bad. There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami.
I saw his scars - the visible ones-and saw how breaking him had not made him any less beautiful. If anything, he stood stronger, because he'd survived.
To get something you must give something away. To hold something you must give something away. To love something you must give something away.
I want love to conquer all. But love can't conquer anything. It can't do anything on it's own. It relies on us to do the conquering on its behalf.
Making love without noise is like playing a muted piano-fine for practice, but you cheat yourself out of hearing the glorious results.
This, I think, is how people survive: Even when horrible things have been done to us, we can still find gratitude in one another.
Sharing truth is not the kind of gift that comes in wrapping paper - ripped open once and, there, you're done. No, this is a gift that must be unfolded.
breathtaking, adj. Those moments when we kiss and surrender for an hour before we say a single word.
He is much stronger than I think I am. He is mischievous, outgoing, ready to soar through the clouds, while I often feel like the cloud itself.
I've worked really hard, but I know people who have worked even harder but didn't have the chances I've had.
I always fear that when I really impose my will on something, the universe is gonna punish me.
Minimization is what happens when we take the "world is flat" idea too far...and act as if people everywhere are the same (and thereby minimizing the differences).
You get to know more of the character of a man in a round of golf than in six months of political experience.
It's the only thing that keeps me going these days, travelling. Changes of scene, changes of faces
To read is to surrender oneself to an endless displacement of curiosity and desire from one sentence to another
Sometimes you get really bitter about how the prettiest images don't typically end up attached to the most interesting music. But I just take that as a challenge to try to do something cool.
Clearly, things are definitely changing in big ways as far as the way we consume music, listen to music, and what we expect from music.
