Chris Hardwick Quotes

I do lots of crowd work in my set, because I enjoy writing material through riffing and conversation.

Alcohol is like pouring smiles on your brain.

You can't throw money at the Internet to make it work - it really is all about the quality of the content.

The goal of almost every comic is to find a comedy voice - a specific point of view that an audience can latch onto.

Trying to make strangers laugh is crazy and more than a little narcissistic.

Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.

The nerdist movement is less about consumers; there is a large contingent that are creative nerdists instead of consumers.

Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn't play sports - for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.

We didn't understand irony yet in the '80s; we just kind of existed at face value, so there was no nerd cool yet because the digital revolution was still in its infancy.

I'm just gonna do a podcast because it's mine, I can control it, I have complete responsibility over it, and no one can touch it.

When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

It changed my whole outlook. I lost a decade to self-pity, and the next thing I knew I was turning 40.

Do you think Patrick Swayze now goes up behind people in pottery classes and hugs them just to crack up other ghosts?

The difference being that a nerd would wear a D&D shirt because he loves D&D while a hipster would wear a D&D shirt because it's ridiculous that he is wearing a D&D shirt.

I do podcasts for the same reasons I do stand-up comedy. I love it, and I don't care if anybody else gets it.

I dated around some, but I've always been a serial monogamist. I don't know how people date around a lot, and not want to stab themselves in the face with a sharp object.

If you wish to achieve any success in this life, do your best to surround yourself with an orgy of good choices.

I categorize nerds as creative-obsessive. A lot of nerds are creative people who obsess almost unnaturally over the minutiae of things.

Every time I finish a record, it's sort of feels like, "I can't believe that I'm hanging out and having a conversation, and people are gonna listen to this." It's an odd thing, but it's really cool.

Sober strip clubs are horrible. When you are sober you see the matrix code behind a strip club. You're paying girls to pretend to like you until you run out of money so they can walk away.

We just make stuff that we think is funny and fun, and I think that's the most you can do. I think if you're chasing virality, it just feels desperate.

One of the many reasons why I love stand-up so much is when you're performing, you get instant feedback. You know if stuff is working right away.

I have opinions about the differences between Memphis barbecue and Texas barbecue. Put me in the kitchen and you'll see how Southern I can be.

Stand-up for me is usually a weekend thing. I go out of town and just do it.

Any time you're lucky enough to get on a show people watch, it's a good thing.

If you can build your career around your passions, then you're winning in life; that's one of the best things you can ask for.

Any nerd who grew up around the time that I did, BBC programming was a treasure chest for us.

I learned not to confuse 'busy' with 'productive,' but I'm still far too addicted to email to resist its early-morning digital snuggles.

Real philosophy is like trying to read an alarm system installation manual in Korean.

Traditionally nerd-based culture is now a big sector of pop culture.

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.

The lifeblood of YouTube is sharing.

The worst day ever was when I found out my grandfather was going to die.

When you first start working, you take whatever job is offered, because you have to build your resume. But you don't think about what you're building.

What's more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.

Our mandate at Nerdist is that we only get involved with nice people around things that we love. We have the luxury of being in the demographic that we're programming for.

With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.

When comedians get successful, the fans that they have aren't the fans they would hang out with. I don't have that problem.

I don't really read reviews and comments that much. There just isn't a lot to be gained from it.

The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.

Bowling really was a big American sport in the '50s, '60s, and '70s, and then it kind of died off in the '80s.

Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I'm going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.

It's so much easier to give advice than to take it.

Mainstream culture is like your mom: It's always a little late to catch on and gets easily confused by technology, but it means well.

Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it took effort to be a nerd. You had to seek out the nerd stuff.

Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.

The thing about hipsters is that they take very seriously trying to make themselves look like they don't take themselves seriously.

There's a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.