Mainstream culture is like your mom: It's always a little late to catch on and gets easily confused by technology, but it means well.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

If I were omnipotent and omnibenevolent I wouldn't be so damn ineffable.

Religion is a distraction from true education.

The heart is always young only in the recollection of those whom it has loved in youth.

It is the job of the novelist to touch the reader.

The best is yet to come, and won't that be fine? You think you've seen the sun, but you ain't seen it shine.

Artists are here to disturb the peace.

Catherine had never wanted comfort more, and he [Henry] looked as if he was aware of it.

Do not mistake probability for truth, for it is a notorious liar.

To be the first to enter the cosmos, to engage, single-handed, in an unprecedented duel with nature-could one dream of anything more?

Such as I am, I am a precious gift.