When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

Most days, writing simply requires work-ethic, discipline, clarity, focus, time. Other days...it will demand absolutely everything of you.

You can't fix stupid

Americans want our leaders to defend our values, our culture our legacy of liberty and our way of life, not apologize...

Sometimes I do need to go to karaoke, sometimes I need to relax.

Other than my marriage, the decision to get a Ph.D. was probably the best decision of my life.

That which is achieved the most, still has the whole of its future yet to be achieved.

Dogs don't bark at parked cars.

They [Democrats] don't even want us around.

And when I have lived elsewhere, every two weeks I have to fly back to LA. Even New York directors go there to audition. So I have to be there to a degree.

Life is a play.It's not its length,but its performance that counts.